awkwardvagina:

if i was famous id probably just ask my fans to buy me food when im hungry 

(Source: awkwardvagina)

sonoanthony:

When her family thinks she’s mad innocent but shorty done swallowed your whole dick behind the house before coming in to the family gathering


askingprincegumball:

yaminabearies:

screamameme:

I tried so hard to scroll past this. I really did.

damn it Radio 2

I just learned a new method for business.

foxyaf:

slihgtlydyslexic:

vuls:

prepare for high school then prepare for college then prepare for your career then prepare for retirement then you’re dead 

then prepare for skeleton war

image

methlabrador:

whats the meaning of life? son, its those little tiny pumpkins. the ones that are mad small.  you know the ones i mean. 

(Source: mattressblowoutsale)

officialannakendrick:

could you please put your crying kid on vibrate

(Source: dutchster)

alegbra:

bold text in lowercase kinda feels like when a parent is really steamed but they’re talking in a low composed tone so you know you’re in the shit now

In Roman community baths, it was customary for men to stand and applaud when a well-endowed peer entered the water.

why are men so weird everywhere always (x)

i just imagined this and cannot stop loling

(via retconcorps)

'CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MASSIVE DONG SIR'   'THANK YOU SIR I INHERITED IT FROM MY PARENTS'   'TRULY AMAZING SIR'  
(via theinfinitejests)

(Source: thirddeadlysin)

rydenactionnews:

bowserfucker:

oknope:

imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told 

IDK what kind of lives you all are leading, but this sounds like the boringest shit. “Yes I sent that email.” “Yeah, I like your outfit.” “I was sick.” “My mom said no” “No I wasn’t crying.” “Yes I read the Terms of Service”

#imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve BEEN told